Category Archives: Potpourri

Selling Girl Guide cookies

The reason we didn’t want Avery to join Sparks back in kindergarten, or Brownies in grade two, came down to cookies. Essentially, we didn’t want to spend Saturdays sitting outside of Walmart trying to sell chocolate mint cookies or the lesser chocolate and vanilla sandwich cookies to people who had probably just bought a bunch of junk food in the store. (Note: America has waaay better Girl Scout cookies than Canada. I craved Samoas and Trefoils as a child.)

We finally caved and let her join up as a Brownie last year. She graduated to Girl Guide at the start of grade four (I still call it Brownies though. I just can’t get my head around “Girl Guides” — who is she guiding, exactly?). Instead of hawking $5 boxes of cookies at the mall, she sells them door-to-door. And by she I mean we. I hold the case of cookies and she negotiates the transaction.

Wouldn't you buy a box of cookies from this Girl Guide?

Wouldn’t you buy a box of cookies from this Girl Guide?

Avery: “I’m selling Girl Guide cookies. Five dollars a box. I only have four boxes left.”

Customer: “What kind are they?”

Avery: “The sandwich kind.”

Customer: “Oh, too bad. I like the mint ones.”

We get that every third house. Everyone likes the mint ones. I have yet to meet anyone who would rather trough on the sandwich kind. Dear Girl Guides: it’s time to retire the sandwich cookies. (Why not just sell the mint ones all year? Or better yet, imagine how well those Girl Scout shortbread Trefoils and caramel-chocolate-coconut Samoas would sell here. It’s criminal we don’t have more options. Truly.)

Because spring is the season for the sandwich cookies — and because I’d already seen Facebook posts from parents of cookie selling competitors, trying to unload their boxes to other parents at school pick-up — I knew Avery and I needed a strategy to get rid of our case.

Using social media to sell sugary goodness. Genius!

Using social media to sell sugary goodness. Genius!

The plan: Pick a nice hockey playoff evening when the Flames were playing and go door-to-door before the puck dropped in the hope that anyone not at a bar would be in the market for munchies while they watched the game on TV.

Day 1 (Game 2/Away): We sold a case in five minutes! Our neighbour and his friend purchased eight (8!) boxes, and another neighbour snapped up the remaining four. Wow, cookie selling is EASY! Imagine if we had more cases, we could’ve sold them all! So, I emailed the Girl Guide leader and asked for another case.

Day 2 (Game 4/Home): Where is everyone? They either think we’re door knocking for the Alberta election, they’re at a bar, or they’re at the game. One woman (who I know is home because I saw her go in the front door when we were half a block away) just ignores the doorbell. Another man answers, takes one look at the Girl Guide box, and tells us no thanks, he still has half a box of the mint cookies left over from December. WTF? Those are the good ones! Evidently, his two kids aren’t allowed to eat cookies.

We make our way down the street, practically begging people to take them off our hands.

Lady: “I’ll go see if I can scrounge up some change.” She returns with eight quarters and three loonies. “I raided the loose change drawer because we’re almost through the two boxes we bought from another girl earlier this week.”

At least someone likes the sandwich kind.

Avery: “Oh, really?” (Wondering who beat her to this street.)

Lady: “She had a big wagon of cookies.”

Ah, the cookie wagon. It takes dedication to haul cases of sandwich cookies around in a wagon. And possibly all day to sell them.

Finally, a reprieve. With only two boxes left to sell Avery rings one more doorbell. The man who answers takes one look at Avery, all dressed up in her shirt and kerchief, holding a case of cookies, and his hand dives into his pocket for money. When it surfaces empty-handed he checks his wallet, despairing that there’s no cash. But then he remembers his wallet’s secret cash stash, pulls out a ten dollar bill, and buys the two remaining boxes.

Selling the lesser sandwich cookies? Not as hard as I’d imagined.

Dear Diary…

I picked up a pen on October 7, 1984,and wrote the words “Dear Diary.” I didn’t stop writing about life’s highs and lows, friendship triumphs and betrayals, love found and lost and found again — all penned in looping teenage girl cursive — until sometime in my late 20s.

My diary, circa 1990.

My diary, circa 1990.

 

Dear Diary, In 25 years I will laugh at this entry!  P.S. That relationship didn't last another month!

Dear Diary, In 25 years I will laugh at this entry!

By then, with a husband and a house and a blossoming writing career, life became predictable enough that I no longer needed to use blank lined pages as a sounding board for my deepest thoughts and dreams. I put down that pen and the privacy of a diary, and took to a keyboard, typing stories of my trips and travails for the general public as a journalist.

And then, after I left the Calgary Herald in 2011, I started this blog as a way to record bits of the next chapter of my life: the one about raising kids. Blogging is easier than writing — my hand never cramps — and I can add pictures too! It’s like a scrapbook journal. I like to think that Avery and Bennett will read these posts and remember their milestones and laugh at all the crazy things they did.

The modern journal.

The modern journal.

But it’s not always light and cheery. Parenting has its dark moments, especially when raising a child with special needs. I’ve “put it all out there” a couple times in parenting posts and stories about my son and our family’s struggles with his genetic condition and autism. I know this open talk of our sadness, and subsequent coming to terms with our new normal, can seem foreign to people. Sometimes they use words like “brave” or “honest” to describe my words.

The words are honest in the same way my teenage rants were honest in the late 80s. They are brave only in the sense I am writing them knowing that thousands of people will find my “modern journal” and read it cover to cover. I have another word for it, one that’s now backed by research: therapy.

It turns out a Clarkson University professor has written a paper on how mothers raising a child with autism can manage stress through emotional disclosure in journal writing. The article appears in the December 2014 issue of the Journal for Autism and Developmental Disorders.

“If people can really comprehend what’s happening to them, if they find meaning in it and find tools for managing it, they are healthy and resilient,” said author Rondalyn V. Whitney, the director and founding chair of Clarkson’s occupational therapy program, in a news release about the paper. “Journal writing is one of their tools in their toolkit, and it helps them find meaningful coping strategies.”

I’m not sure that writing about Bennett helps me find coping strategies, but it does put our challenges into perspective and help me see them in a new light. I also think it’s important to share our struggles, so that others can come one step closer to understanding what we’re going through. I’m not one to beat the disability drum, but I think we can learn valuable lessons from children and adults with differences. As I wrote in a Today’s Parent story this month:

“I wonder at times if I’ve become a better person because of his autism, and I think I have—I’m more patient than I ever thought possible and I’m continually amazed by my perseverance and my ability to adapt to a new normal every few months as behaviours come and go.”

Maybe everyone should have a little Bennett in their lives, I think. And so I write. Because life is no longer as stable and predictable as it was when I was 28, and my keyboard and a blank screen — and you, my readers — have become my new sounding board.

Consider this our family Christmas card 3

The Kadane-Ford family Christmas card: 2014

Once again there is only one picture of the four of us together. Here we are holding lemurs in San Diego.

Once again there is only one picture of the four of us together. Here we are holding lemurs in San Diego on a wish trip granted by the Rainbow Society of Alberta.

It’s been a year of travel, powder skiing and Game of Thrones bingeing (for Blake and me) in our household. In between all that fun we’ve managed some dog training, volunteering and, from time to time, parenting. Sometimes we mix dog training with parenting and it ends in some live entertainment we like to call Game of Bones (Piper takes her bone and runs from Bennett, Bennett chases Piper, Piper abandons her bone for a bigger bone, Bennett chases her some more, etc. Clearly, we need to hire a babysitter and get out more). But anyway. Here are some 2014 highlights for each family member:

Blake continues to devote an unbelievable amount of his spare time to mountain biking. He travelled to Moab for a biking bromance with three buddies in April, and followed it up with trips to Fernie, Kicking Horse and, most recently, Canmore for some winter biking. I knew he might have a problem when one night he came running over with an issue of Fat Tire Enthusiast to show me that his Giant Trance Advance SX was voted the best mountain bike in the galaxy by a panel of IPA-drinking gear heads experts. Also, the garage has been deemed unsafe for the Giant; it rests on a pedestal in our storage room.

Blake mountain biking in Moab.

Blake mountain biking in Golden, B.C.

When he’s not pedalling his baby, Blake trains our dog Piper. This consists of leashing her to a ski pole, fastening the pole to his bike and then riding while Piper sprints beside him. Oh wait, he’s actually also biking when he does this. When he’s not mountain- or dog-biking, Blake works on puzzles with Avery, wrestles with Bennett, and showers me with affection.

In the blink of an eye Avery seems to have grown from a little girl into a mature big kid. She’s enjoying Girl Guides, piano and gymnastics, and will be shredding the gnar starting a ski program in Fernie later this winter. Her favourite mode of transportation is cartwheeling and hand-standing, and as a result her biceps at age nine are comparable to Linda Hamilton’s from Terminator 2. Avery loves to read, draw detailed pictures, recount her boring and impossibly complicated dreams and watch The Amazing Race.

Avery Ford, age nine, grade four. In Vernon, B.C. this past summer.

Avery Ford, age nine, grade four. In Vernon, B.C. this past summer.

For all her growing up though, she’d still rather chase frogs than boys, and give us endless cuddles at bedtime. Can I freeze time? Pretty please?

Bennett has had a big year that included learning to link turns and stop while skiing (without me having to yell, “Pizza! Stop! Turn!” like a crazy lady), becoming more comfortable on his adapted bike, and being granted an amazing wish trip to San Diego by the Rainbow Society of Alberta.

Bennett Ford, age seven, grade two. Dressed as Super Why for Halloween.

Bennett Ford, age seven, grade two. Dressed as Super Why for Halloween.

He went as Super Why for Halloween, which seems to have granted closure on his year-long love affair with Whyatt and the Super Readers. He’s moved on to Dora and, randomly, YouTube videos of Debbie Reynolds singing Tammy. He now shrieks sings Tammy to Piper when she’s in her kennel, which is yet another way he torments the dog. Bennett continues to challenge and surprise us and, while it sometimes seems like there aren’t enough band-aids to help him feel better when his feelings get hurt after a scolding (“Stop holding Piper by her neck, Bennett!”), there’s no better sound than that kid’s belly laugh.

I wish I could report that Blake’s and Avery’s intensive Piper training had cured the dog of eating her own poop. But no. She is still disgusting. We continue to be proud of her actual accomplishments, which include: learning how to climb a ladder, roll over and jump to catch a frisbee in mid-air; being the cutest dog at the dog park; and chasing those ugly black squirrels and annoying magpies that wander into our yard. Piper barks in a high-pitched kind of sissy way when she does this, but we’ll overlook that.

Piper after a mountain bike ride/run at Nose Hill.

Piper after a mountain bike ride/run at Nose Hill.

After a bout of lice, kennel cough and an ear infection this past year I was ready to give Piper away rethink our decision to get a dog, but now that she’s healthy again and I no longer have to pick up turds (because, um, you know… dessert!) I think we’ll keep her.

Lisa (that’s me) has upped her travel game in 2014, thanks to Blake’s more flexible work schedule, and has recently enjoyed press trips to Guadalajara, Whistler and even a short jaunt to Toronto to help judge a Cointreau cocktail competition. Blake and I managed to sneak in three adult trips (cat skiing, Sayulita and San Francisco — don’t go there in July; it’s freezing) as well as family trips to San Diego, Vernon and Dallas. Up next: Costa Rica in 2015!

Enjoying a Mexican sunset in Punta Mita.

Enjoying a Mexican sunset in Punta Mita.

My hypochondriac tendencies continue as I visited the doctor a lot for minor complaints such as an ongoing shoulder injury from Piper’s sled-dog-like pulling tendencies. The upside of this? My goal for this winter is to shovel the sidewalk zero times. I have also started holding my iPhone at arms length to read. Blake insists that I need reading glasses, but I will read the damn device from across the room for spite to prove my unrivalled far-sightedness before I invest in readers, even if they come with hopelessly dorky cool lights on the sides.

We’re looking forward to a relaxing Christmas break with family and friends that includes lots of pow-pow. Happy holidays!