Our Sea-Monkeys experiment

Remember Sea-Monkeys? When I was a kid every comic book featured an ad on the back cover selling kits that promised to get you growing these prehistoric krill-like creatures from the comfort of your home. I never asked my parents to buy me sea-monkeys — like magic sand, I figured the product would only disappoint. Look at the drawings of them: as if you’ll grow a weird amphibious family that lives in a castle.

Creepy, right? But weirdly I could not resist.

So when Avery came home from school clutching a Scholastic book order form, with a picture of the Sea Creatures kit circled, I rolled my eyes. I mean, kudos to the Sea-Monkeys marketing team for successfully rebranding the critters by calling them by their scientific name, “triops,” and packaging them in a box that sells them as Sea Creatures (the monkeys moniker always seemed a bit creepy). But still, I felt it would be $12.99 of Avery’s allowance money down the drain. Would they even hatch? What was their lifespan (translation: how long would they clutter up our kitchen island)? I knew it wouldn’t end well. (But at least she wasn’t asking for a pair of x-ray glasses, a gimmick coveted by her daddy back in his comic book-reading days.)

Look closely and you will see our first triops hatchling. The castle is not included in the kit.

In the name of science we relented and, two weeks later, Avery brought home her kit. A couple days after we released eggs to water, there it was — almost invisible to the naked eye — our first baby triops. A few days on we counted four. Then, sadly, we experienced a die-off and our numbers dropped to two (we think the larger ones cannibalized the babies). The remaining sea creatures seemed to flourish in the tropical environment we created, thanks to an incubator-like lightbulb set up by the little dish. At first Avery doted on them, mixing up food and suctioning dirty water out of their bowl. She also watched them zip around the dish and even drew pictures of triops. It was love for about a day.

Avery cleans out the triops dish, a gesture in vain as they would all be dead by morning.

This triops is in a way cleaner bowl than ours.

Then guess who took over triops duty? Yes. The parents. We watched in dismay as the dish became ever-cloudier and its occupants harder to see. Triops are not cute. Their name comes from the Greek word meaning “three eyes” (which would totally have made a scarier Greek monster than a cyclops) and if you look closely you will see two black eyes plus a black spot above the eyes on a large head that sits atop a shrimp-like body. They are fascinating partly because they look so weird.

Triop, I love you.

Despite our best efforts the oldest triops died last week. Avery didn’t take it well and pretty much cried all morning after I shared the news. I Googled “triops lifespan” (on average two weeks) and realized the second triops had maybe three or four good days left. Cue sad music.

Monday night our last Sea-Monkey was swimming frenetically around the dish, living it up amongst the triops food and accumulated debris. By Tuesday morning it was floating lifeless at the bottom of the container. Avery just kind of shrugged in acceptance (now that she’s a circle-of-life veteran) and then asked, “When can we hatch the rest of the eggs?”

A true scientist is born. (And yes, those kits are well worth $12.99.)

Confessions from storytime

In his 2008 book Under Pressure: Putting the Child Back in Childhood, author Carl Honore writes about the moment he realized he needed to slow down while parenting. During bedtime story he was skipping pages and shortening sentences in an effort to rush through the book and turn out the light faster (and, presumably, move on to that cherished window between kid-bedtime and parent-bedtime).

Other parents are finding storytime a drag, too. A recent Disney survey found that though half of UK parents surveyed think storytime is time well spent with their kids, only a third read to them every day. The rest are pleading “too busy.”

Based on my own experience though, I am guessing that what Honore probably didn’t count on — and what the survey didn’t ask about — was a child’s need to have the same story read over and over and over and over again. It is really annoying and enough to put even the most well-intentioned parent off of storytime for good. That, dear reader, is my reality.

My shortened version of Goodnight Moon: Goodnight everybody! The end.

We all know that reading to kids is important. It’s a great way to promote literacy and storytelling. It’s also a nice time at the end of the day to cuddle and bond. I just don’t like reading the same book every night for months. When Avery was little she would go choose a bedtime story from the bookshelf and I would repeat this mantra: “Anything but Goodnight Moon, anything but Goodnight Moon, anything but Goodnight Moon.” And then she would bring over — wait for it — Goodnight Moon for what felt like the 1,000th reading. Goodnight Nobody? What does that even mean??

My favourite kids’ story ever. I didn’t minding reading it 150 times.

Fortunately Avery can now read on her own so I am left to struggle through storytime only with Bennett. At the end of the summer he was on a Flap Your Wings tear. It’s a hilarious book about Mr. and Mrs. Bird, in which they hatch and raise a crocodile baby, then try to teach it how to fly. I really loved that book, and watching Bennett get excited every time on the page where the egg hatches to reveal a baby crocodile was priceless. “That’s not a baby bird!!” he would exclaim.

Read this book for what feels like the 1,000th time? I cannot, I cannot, I cannot.

Sadly, not all children’s books are created equal. He has now moved on to The Little Engine That Could, which is supposed to teach kids that success and reward come from trying hard. It’s a great lesson delivered in a painful format. There’s an annoying train filled with crap toys (a creepy toy clown) and food (spinach and peppermint drops) that breaks down. The clown ominously comes to life and begs a bunch of passing engines to haul the toys and food over the mountain so the train can deliver the goods to the waiting children, etc.

Since I’ve read the story so many times, Bennett has memorized the entire book. This means that if I try to skip pages or shorten sentences, he calls me on it. “No Mommy,” he’ll stop me. “Read it again.” So my eyes glaze over and I stifle another yawn and I summon my Little Blue Engine voice and also the will to go on: “I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!”

Every night I suggest different stories to Bennett. “How about Mortimer? We haven’t read that in awhile. What about The Cat in the Hat?”

Bennett: “Mommy, how about The Little Engine That Could?”

Me: “I cannot. I cannot. I cannot.”

How about you? Which bedtime stories are you tired of reading over and over and over and over again?

Three cool Calgary drinking holes

On Fridays I usually write about a cocktail I’ve sampled and post the recipe to go with it. This week, however, I’m taking a different approach. I get around to various Calgary meetup spots regularly. Not all of them are known for cocktails and, as you can imagine, sometimes I’m in the mood for beer or wine. So, here are three spots worth a stop if you happen to be in Mission, Eau Claire or Inglewood. They are very different from one another but have one thing in common: drinks!

This spicy twist on a traditional marg makes me say, “Omyomyom!”

1. Oh, Anejo, let me count the ways I love you. Your margarita selection, cool Latin vibe, tasty fish tacos and Mexican decor all helped win me over. I’ll be back for another La Capital (a Mexican twist on the Manhattan, with tequila in place of bourbon), and soon. And that would be awesome if you started selling your “I heart Tequila” T-shirts, too. I’ll be writing about this new 4th Street hot spot in an upcoming Calgary Herald column, so stay tuned.

2. Most people in Calgary have been to the Garage, usually for some kind of corporate, team-building, pool-playing afternoon. With 15 pool tables, 15 beers on tap and lots of televisions broadcasting sports, it’s easy to guess the main pursuits here. Now you can enjoy them in an updated space.

Pool playing, sports viewing and beer drinking are still the main pursuits at the Garage.

The Garage closed in August for a two-week reno that brought in new paint, new art and new TVs. I enjoyed Dunkelweizen, a dark German wheat ale made by Big Rock. Other top sellers are High Country Kolsch from the Mt. Begbie Brewery in Revelstoke, and 1516 from Sleeman. “Craft beer is taking over our sales,” says manager Nadia Bull.

3. I’ve taken to using Gravity Espresso & Wine Bar in Inglewood as my office-away-from-home. It provides tea and coffee for daytime meetings; beer and wine for evening brainstorming sessions. The atmosphere is lovely — warm and welcoming, with big harvest tables and funky art — and owner Andy Fennel will stop by your table to chat. He left the corporate world to open a meetup spot that would pull in people like, well, gravity. Judging from how busy it is every time I’m there (and how often I am there) I think it’s working.

My new office-away-from-home: Cafe Gravity.