Every January parenting gurus pick what they think will be the year’s top trends. Last year I weighed in on the trend forecast, and while I’ll be forever thankful that “dadchelor” parties didn’t take off, I am a bit disappointed there isn’t more French parenting happening in my kitchen.
Moving on to 2013, I think the burning questions are: Will breastfeeding your child until he’s four be the new transitioning-to-a-sippy-cup? (Let’s hope not.) Will whatever Wills and Kate name the royal heir become the year’s hot baby name? (Very likely.) And will all that steamy reading about Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele lead to a baby boom? (That depends on how many foil wrappers were opened.) Like your daily horoscope, it’s all very hard to predict. But predict the media does and after perusing the prognostications from iVillage and Chicago Parent I’m here to pass judgement on the trends.
I know! Chris Hemsworth makes “Thor” seem like a no-brainer baby name.
Scandinavian baby names: We’ve seen Hunger Games baby names and Twilight baby names; how about giving the region that brought us Norse mythology a chance to showcase its monikers? You don’t have to name your kid Thor or Odin, but at least consider Magnus or Axel, okay?
Buh-bye art from forever ago!
Apps to make your life easier (in theory): If your kids are like mine, they bring home every painting, drawing or craft they’ve ever made and then expect you to keep it forever and ever. Some are awful and some are cute and now, thanks to Artkive, you can recycle the lot. Just snap a photo of the artwork, then toss it. At the end of the year use Artkive to make a coffee table book of your child’s works straight from the app.
Dressing your child like you is never a good look.
Dressing your kid to be a “Mini Me”: It was a bad look for Austin Powers and his sidekick-kid and it doesn’t work for mothers and daughters, no matter what the forecasters say. Either way someone loses, whether it’s Mom, who looks ridiculous rocking a bedazzled shirt; or Daughter, who looks a bit too Toddlers & Tiaras wearing a beret and heels while carrying a purse.
On the plus side it will motivate your child to walk everywhere.
Neon baby gear: I know everything comes back into style, but are you really ready to start putting those garish neon colours on everything again? They were bad enough the first time around on ski outfits and T-shirts and jewelry, but now you want to make sure your neon stroller stops traffic? Those hideous shades of yellow, pink, blue and orange are just as ugly on bouncy chairs and nursery bedding and diaper bags. They will make your baby cry. Promise.
Extreme Parenting: Bomb Shelter Edition. (Look for a blog post about this topic in the future…)
Apocalyptic parents: All the natural disasters and bad, random things that keep happening are spurring some parents to prepare for the worst. It’s like Y2K all over again as paranoid parents stock up on bottled water, batteries and generators. Just in case. Really? You have nothing better to do with your time?If that doomsday preacher taught me anything, it’s that you just can’t count on the end of the world.