Category Archives: Parenting

No gift bag left behind?

Posted on May 15, 2012 | 8 comments

Back when my eldest was a toddler and took no interest in her birthday party beyond the cake, I vowed I would never adopt what I viewed as unsavoury kids’ birthday party practices. Namely:

  1. Outsourcing
  2. Inviting a number of children greater than my child’s age
  3. Gift bags

This past Friday, at our daughter’s seventh birthday celebration, I realized I have broken all of my party promises. We let Avery invite nine friends to a gymnastics bithday party at the Flip Factory and handed out goody bags when it was over. These slips aren’t really a big deal since outsourcing a party is arguably easier than hosting it in-house (the entertainment is taken care of and the mess is minimized). And really, what’s a couple more friends when there’s a huge gym to run around in?

Gymnastics for an hour followed by pizza, cake, presents and gift bags.

Which brings us to gift bags. Even though a parenting trend prediction for 2012 suggested gift bags were on the way out, it’s daunting to defy party tradition and forego the little party thank-yous, especially when six- and seven-year-old girls covet them. So I stocked up on craft graft from Michaels and Jolly Ranchers from Dollarama and put together what I thought was a pretty kick-ass gift bag:

If China didn’t exist, neither would gift bags.

And yet. One little girl left her gift bag behind. Did she deem the contents unworthy? Had she and her parents vowed to eschew the tradition of gross birthday over-consumption by just saying no to the loot bag? Or did she simply forget to take her gift bag home with her?

Gift bag left behind.

I’ll never know the reason the yellow bag stayed at the Flip Factory that evening. But I like to think that, in Grade 1, my daughter’s friend took a look inside and thought, “Do I really need some lame Made-in-China crafts and teeth-rotting candy?” And then left the gift bag behind.

Should gift bags go the way of the dinosaurs or should we embrace them? Thoughts?

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Hunger Games baby names and other trends

Posted on April 26, 2012 | Leave a comment

I’m thinking of changing Avery’s name to Katniss and making Bennett hunt for his own food in the Inglewood Bird Sanctuary to toughen him up. Sound radical? I’m just cottoning on to two of the latest trends: Hunger Games baby names and Hunger Games parenting. If you, like me, can’t get enough of the bestselling book and hit movie, there are ways to incorporate the phenomenon into all aspects of your life, from parenting to travel! Read on.

There's nothing like a bestseller to spark some new trends.

1. ‘Hunger Games’ parenting. Forget the Tiger Mom and that Bringing up Bebe lady, Vanity Fair writer and editor Bruce Handy champions the cause of the Hunger Games mommy in a hilarious send-up in The New York Times Sunday Review. In a nutshell, the strict parenting philosophy advocates motivating children with the threat of their imminent death. That’s right kiddo, you’d better get an ‘A’ on that exam or mommy’s going to sic the pit bulls on you!

2. Hunger Games baby names. Not long ago I wrote a blog about people naming their babies after college football stars, but that’s so 2011. This year, your baby’s only cool if it’s named after a tribute. According to Nameberry, the most popular picks are Rue for girls and Cato for boys (I know his character is unlikeable, but the guy who plays Cato in the movie kinda looks like Prince Harry! Hot!) Not surprisingly, every blockbuster franchise has some name duds, too (um, remember Hermione?), so it’s little wonder the District 12 mentor’s moniker didn’t make the cut — you’ll want to think twice about adding Haymitch to the short-list unless your babe is a disheveled Scotch drinker (and I’m not talking about your boyfriend).

Awwww, isn't my little Haymitch precious?

3. Hunger Games travel. OK, so you’ll probably never find yourself in a situation where you need to saw a hornet nest onto your sleeping enemies, but it couldn’t hurt to brush up on your survival skills, could it? GoVoluntouring offers survival training adventure trips such as a 15-day Papua New Guinea expedition that includes jungle training, hazardous flora and fauna lessons (no Nightlock, thanks!), river and ravine crossing techniques and setting up natural shelters — all while watching out for crocodiles!

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Five reasons I’d rather have real babies than ducklings

Posted on April 18, 2012 | Leave a comment

We babysat three baby ducklings from my daughter’s school last night. They were tiny, yellow, unbelievably soft and totally helpless. They chirped in alarm when the kids approached their plastic pen, but then settled down adorably on Avery’s lap to rest.

Awwww! Isn't he cute?

Right after she called me into the kitchen to witness the triple duckling love-in, one of them chose that moment to poop on her leg.

“Ewwwww! Yuck, Mommy! He pooped on my leg!” She looked at the poop in horror and I did what any parent in that situation would do. I burst out laughing. “It’s not funny!” she wailed, summoning tears to match her disgust.

You'll see a lot of this with ducklings. I calculated that they poop 12 times as much as a human infant.

Before you go thinking that’s a one-off occurence, and that maybe ducklings would make a good pet, let me just tell you: they poop A LOT. Like, four or five times an hour. I did the math and figured that’s about 12 times as much as a human baby poops. They also chirp incessantly (their noise caused another mom from Avery’s school to get up in the night to check on them — just like newborns!) and their pen gets so messy from spilled water and poop you need to change the newspaper every couple hours. They’re fairly high maintenance sleepover guests.

Cute? Absolutely, for about an hour. But thinking long term, consider that they grow into large, pecking, not-so-cute-anymore birds. With that in mind, here are five reasons I’d rather have real babies than ducklings:

  1. Human babies poop into a diaper, not on the floor.
  2. Human babies don’t step in their poop and then step into their water and food bowls.
  3. Human babies don’t poop the minute you put them into a nice clean bathtub, unless you’re extremely unlucky.
  4. Human babies eventually learn how to poop in a toilet; again, unless you’re extremely unlucky (confession: my son, age 4, still poops in a diaper. Sigh.).
  5. Human babies will one day fly away, but only when they’re all grown up and you’re ready for them to leave (so I say now).

My babies with the ducklings.

But for all their noise (and the rolls of paper towel we went through cleaning up poop), it was neat to see my babies play with their duckling babies. How about you? Have you taken ducklings home to babysit? Don’t they poop A LOT??

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