Category Archives: Parenting

The best Mother’s Day gift

Before I had kids I didn’t really get Mother’s Day. Sure, I loved my mom, but I didn’t understand why we dedicated a day to pampering her with flowers, breakfast in bed and coupons for a massage.  I mean, why all the fuss over how she cooked our meals and drove me to gymnastics and French braided my hair while I complained she was tugging too hard? Wasn’t she just doing her job? It’s not that I was a bad daughter, I was just a little clueless about what the mommy role entailed.

Now that I’m the person doing those tasks — plus getting up with sick kids in the night, helping them navigate tantrums and hurt feelings, walking them through math problems, reading them bedtime stories, enforcing bath time (and bedtime), shopping for the stuff they need, listening to the occasional sass and the endless complaints about broccoli and mashed cauliflower and “I hate shrimp!” — I wish there were several times a year when I would wake to flowers, breakfast in bed and coupons for a massage.

Being a mom is hard work and sometimes feels like a slog, but it’s also so rewarding, and never more so than on that magical day when your kids finally get it. Evidently, I was a little slow in that department as a child. My daughter, on the other hand, seems to understand (and I hope it’s not because I’m always grumbling about all the stuff I do for her). This year for Mother’s Day she made me a card that spelled out how great she thinks I am:

Avery made me this amazing Mother's Day card. I'm going to frame it.

Avery made me this amazing Mother’s Day card. I’m going to frame it.

It’s not like I need constant high-fives and reinforcement about my skills in this area, but it’s great when your kid tells you and it comes from the heart. What touched me is how she captured more on the card than the mom part. Yes, she thinks I’m a “magical” and “terrific” mama, and she appreciates that I’m silly and that I plant flowers with her (that’s how we spent our Mother’s Day afternoon). But she also sees me as a person beyond my mommy-ness — as a writer and blogger and above all, a human.

So thank you my sweet Avery. I wish there was a Daughter’s Day so I could tell you all the things I love about you. Wait, never mind. I try to tell you these things in little bits every day. Like how I love how kind and caring you are, how it’s so sweet you have such empathy for your little brother, how you try so hard at tasks until you find an answer or complete them. And I love that you told me you loved me what sounded like 50 times between your birthday and today. I love you too.

Just call us a modern stone-age family

Ever heard of the Specific Carbohydrate Diet? It’s a diet that allows only certain carbohydrates, called monosaccharides, in addition to lots of protein and fat. Basically, it’s a lot like the trendy Paleo Diet, except you’re allowed to eat nuts in addition to seeds. Hurrah! We are slowly switching Bennett’s diet over to what many would call a radical cave-boy diet. Here’s why:

Hopefully Bennett will be as happy as Bamm-Bamm when he starts a modified Paleo Diet.

Hopefully Bennett will be as happy as Bamm-Bamm when he starts a modified Paleo Diet.

When Bennett was diagnosed with autism Blake and I started doing a lot of reading and discovered that many kids who switched over to gluten- and casein-free diets made a lot of gains. Kids with autism can have what’s called a “leaky gut” that allows larger strands of wheat protein and dairy protein into their bloodstreams where they act as a sort of opiate. Keen to try anything, we took away the Goldfish crackers and other processed snacks, bread, pasta and milk and replaced them with gluten-free bread and noodles, and almond and rice milk. I can’t say for sure whether this change had any impact on Bennett’s behaviour, but I can vouch for its efficacy in improving his No. 2s. It was as if, for the first time, our son was actually absorbing nutrients in his intestine.

Not long after this change we sought help from a Calgary doctor, Bruce Hoffman, who works with many families with autistic children. Through various blood and urine tests he found that Bennett has a yeast overgrowth problem in his gut, as well as an “oxalate problem.” Oxalates are naturally-occuring substances found in plants such as blueberries and spinach. Some people have a hard time processing and excreting them, and they can build up in the body and form crystals (e.g. kidney stones). A yeast overgrowth can impact both behaviour and health and Bennett has all the signs including eczema, increased stimming, ear batting (sensory defensiveness), lethargy and sleep disturbances. The best way to get everything under control, we’ve been told, is to starve the yeast with the Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD) and reduce his consumption of high-oxalate foods. What this means for Bennett is he’ll be subsisting on chicken, broccoli and coconut oil. You get the picture.

When we began implementing the GFCF diet in early 2012 I thought that was hard. I had no idea. Trying to take away rice, rice pasta, potatoes, gluten-free bread and most nuts (high oxalates) from a kid who loves them all could be an epic battle. Fortunately, Bennett is not a picky eater. He’ll eat most meats, eggs, all fruits and most veggies. The struggle — for me — will be maintaining some level of excitement and creativity in the kitchen. You wouldn’t think this would be difficult, given a spice cabinet, bottles of oils and Superstore’s produce section (and organics selection). I mean, it’s not like in olden times when the only thing available in the cave was a carcass, some foraged berries and a pile of dandelions. (If only Calgary had a drive-in where we could pull up in the Pathfinder and they’d plunk some barbecued brontosaurus ribs into our Thule.)

Of course there are  Paleo cookbooks with recipes I can modify for a SCD/low-oxalate diet, but I fear I will never embrace riced cauliflower. And the thought of grinding my own sunflower seed flour makes me die a little inside. I am so not a hippie-dippy flour-grinding kind of mama (although Blake has been calling me “Wilma”). It all just seems like a lot of work meal planning and grocery shopping and marinating meat.

The recipe for the Breakfast Egg Muffins looks amazing. Ditto the Pumpkin Pancakes.

The recipe for the Breakfast Egg Muffins looks amazing. Ditto the Pumpkin Pancakes.

It’s the breakfasts that seem the most daunting — it’s hard to get your head around a bread- or cereal-less (and in Bennett’s case, yogurt-less) morning meal. I could always make my own coconut yogurt, but again, do I strike you as the kind of person who owns cheese cloth? Thank goodness for Pumpkin Pancakes! I also worry Bennett won’t get enough calories on this new diet plan. Yes, we are implementing this under the watch of a clinical dietician, but you still can’t spoon feed your five-year-old tablespoons of coconut oil, or make him eat his brussels sprouts (unless there’s bacon involved).

I’m sure it will take time to get the hang of, but hopefully Bennett’s crazy new diet will help him. And hopefully his grain-loving mom will get some of the benefit of the paleo plan; namely, rock-hard abs (dare to dream!).

Life with baby, er, puppy

I finally understand what all those dog owners were warning me about when I naively told them we were getting a puppy. “That’s great!” they’d say (they love to spread the dogspel), followed by an earnest, “You know, puppies are a lot of work.”

Goofing around at 7 weeks old.

Goofing around at 7 weeks old.

“Ha!” I’d scoff to myself. “How hard can it be?” You train ’em up and then you’re gold. As with parenting, I knew everything about dogs before I had one. I was the judgemental dog-less adult watching neighbourhood canines pull at their leashes, jump up on strangers and sniff crotches with abandon. Horrors! My dog would never do anything like that.

Well, not yet, anyway. Instead, Piper pees on the floor at least twice a day; tries to chew anything wooden in the house such as chair legs; has a penchant for nipping at hair, necklaces and fingers; and tears around the yard going ADHD on the rocks, wood chips and leaf mulch. You know how when you name your kid you make sure the name won’t rhyme with anything negative, like how Garth rhymes with barf? We forgot to do that test with Piper (hyper).

Also, Piper is like a baby in that we are now “sleep training” her. We put her in her kennel at 10 p.m., she whines and yelps for about five minutes until she falls asleep. Then, we set the alarm for 2:30 to take Piper (diaper) outside to go pee and poo. You have to actually say “Go pee” and “Go poo” and then give her a treat right after so she doesn’t take her time (because you’re standing there in the middle of the night shivering like an idiot, wondering why you decided to complicate your life by getting a puppy). After the pee break I put her back in the kennel (more crying) and then she wakes up at 5 a.m. and wants to watch Treehouse.

We had to roll up the area rug after Piper peed on it for the third time.

We had to roll up the area rug after Piper peed on it for the third time.

One day last week a dog-less neighbourhood friend popped over to see the puppy. I answered the door looking like a wreck — I hadn’t showered, there were dishes piled up in the sink and dog toys were strewn randomly around the living room. You’d think I’d had a newborn and wasn’t ready for company yet. In reality, she was our third puppy guest. “Everyone wants to see a puppy,” she said. “Too bad they don’t bring a baby gift and a casserole with them.” You got that right.

Well, our neighbours to the west (black lab owners) must have gotten the memo, because they showed up on the weekend with a gift bag full of dog toys for Piper and a bottle of wine for us. Needless to say I was happy to discover that, much like with parenting children, wine also helps new dog-parents cope with a puppy. Cheers to that!

Just what every new dog owner wants (but doesn't get): chew toys and a bottle of wine.

Just what every new dog owner wants (but doesn’t usually get): chew toys and a bottle of wine.